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Monday, November 24, 2003

Sunlight bathed the golden glow

I've wondered about the exact meaning of that song title (taken in isolation - I'm a little while from actually figuring out what felt LYRICS mean!). You'd expect the sunshine to CREATE the golden glow, right? Not bathing a golden glow that was already there to start with. But this afternoon - or evening: it's getting to be high-summer here now, and the afternoons lengthening like a cat stretching after a nap - I got a little closer.
Having finished marking my exam-papers and feeling rather pleased with myself (or, at least, at a loose end for something to do!) I treated myself to a beer on the verandah of the coffee-shop with the sexy waitresses and clientele. It was that fading light of afternoon, and then suddenly it got BRIGHTER! Yes - I checked my watch, and the space-time continuum still seemed intact, and time moving forwards and that, but it definitely was getting lighter! And not just any light - the most gorgeous golden light, like candle-light, but more alive, liquid than that. So much so that even the waitresses from inside rushed out to come and look. I was reading and the page looked honey-coloured, though it's a brand-new book. The sortof thing camera's were made for, but can't do justice to.
At the time I just sortof sat there, taking it in, but once the song title - which was sortof obvious, I suppose - popped into my head I started to think about it, and it started to slowly take on shape. Because I realised that the sun was doing all the work here, and I was observing it, passively, from the outside... Once or twice though, I'd known what it felt like to HAVE such a glow, to project it from within, to dwarf the sunlight with your own luminous wellbeing, and then i missed that feeling.
i want to be back in the sunlight again - and not just in, but PART of it, to feel at home in a golden dusk, to treat it in kind, not to be an alien, to hide, and feel ill at ease and out of sorts. To have a golden glow that bathes in the sunlight, like water in the sea.
I think that would be nice right now. To feel, not to have Felt!

Posted by JohaN