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Sunday, September 21, 2003

Queuejumping

I like happy people.

Once you're done with all the real problems - your parents seem to despise you, the friends you make are of the kind that are never there and the things you want from life slip away too much - you're left with the little ones: lonely Saturday nights and much too quiet Sunday mornings, cold rainy Mondays and busy Tuesdays and so on...

I suspect I'm just finding it hard to believe good things are happening to me - and even harder to live my life according to that. Whatever the reason, I find myself sad a lot of the time even when things are going great. But before you feel sorry for me or tell me off let me tell you: it's quite a good kind of sadness, poetic, life-affirming; except it's slightly odd too and I would rather be happy.

But I don't mind. I don't mind at all. I actually find it encouraging that there are people out there who look out of their window on Monday morning and feel bad because it's raining amd not because their life is a mess: it's proof & a promise that this life can be okay after all and happiness is not impossible.

Posted by Dimitra Daisy

Replies: 2! Woo!