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Friday, February 28, 2003

Things that, had it not been for them, I wouldn't be here (#134) and a note on happiness

Just like Rachel, I wake up vaguely grumpy in the mornings. Just like Ian, I often feel at a loss for life, unsure as to where to go. I have days when music doesn't work, too. I have nights where one anxious dream is followed by another... And they're a lot more than I would like.

What keeps me alive and going is the knowledge of what I want, and that I am (somehow vaguely) trying to get it.

And I wouldn't know it, I don't think, had it not been for that article my godmother asked me to type out in September. 'An everyday life worth living', it said. It's funny how wisdom strikes you in the strangest places. This one made me stop typing and hold my breath for a little... it also made me think a lot and look at things a little bit differently. Had it not been for that little bit, maybe I wouldn't have found myself making a webzine... but that's another story.

What I meant to say is it made me remember. I want to wake up in the mornings happy about the day ahead, inspired to do things instead of inclined to stay in bed forever. Forgetting this is what I might call giving up... but I won't do it. I'll insist and one day I'll get it.

Posted by Dimitra Daisy