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Sunday, March 14, 2004
Friday 5 March 2004, Kevin - 21 years old - Northfield, Minnesota, USA
I've been living the nocturnal life of late. Last Sunday night I stayed awake until 4:30 on Monday afternoon. 4:30! It's amazing, the self-abuse which the average college student can inflict. And it's even more amazing when it's done for the sake of academics, as it has been for me.
I've been writing a thesis. It's been my main project now for over three months, and lately as the due date has drawn closer (and now ticks down the hours?) it has consumed my life. Late nights, busy days, writing and printing writing and printing. One day turns into the next. People lose track sometimes; I can see how.
Today wasn't quite the same as all that. I knew, when I started tonight, that this would probably be the end, that I would finish my thoughts and run out of things to say, that I would be done, with this thing that's been on my mind for the better part of four months. What do I do now? I ask myself that. Not seriously, really; but what else is there to think about after something like this?
Fourth final draft, fourth round of editing. Just making sure I don't repeat myself. I often do, without catching myself, and it does take away from the story. Sometimes I wonder, and I wondered as I walked to print, if it's important to talk about the movies the way I do, to use phrases like "negotiation of identities" - does anyone really say that? I don't know. It seems silly sometimes. But I walked through the 3:00 am snow, answers in hand, and for a moment it doesn't need to make sense.
All this in three hours! What will the rest of Friday have to say?
Posted by February 29th
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